DAILY JOKE (ARCHIVED)

Retired July 24, 2017.

Parodies don't equate to an endorsement of the subject(s) or their opposite. © (#PAu003828366) 2017.

Day 1: Omelette you finish, but who had the best dream of all time? (Context)
Day 2: Sharing dreams makes friends a waffle lot closer. 
Day 3: Years of sleeping mean muffin without your memories.
Day 4: Friends will know if it was an eggsistenstial crisis. 
Day 5: Did you hatch a Fabergé egg of an invention? (Context)
Day 6: Pour your morning bowl of surreal. 
Day 7: What would Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Bagel think? (Context)
Day 8: An entry a day keeps Dr. Hannibal Lecter away. (Context)
Day 9: Time for Green Eggs and Hamlet.
Day 10: Friends are eggsited to hear about your escapades. 
Day 11: Don't go bacon friends' heartsshare your alternate lives. 
Day 12: Who's having Breakfast at Ephipany’s? (Context)
Day 13: Memory training prevents brains from becoming toast. 
Day 14: Orange juice so glad you can save memories of your alternative lives? 
Day 15: Are you baconing to recall your dreams? 
Day 16: Is your brain in pancake or waffle ab shape? 
Day 17: Share your eggsquisite alternate lives. 
Day 18: What universe did you eggscape to for ~8 hours? 
Day 19: Decrease eggshaustion with daily, brain training. 
Day 20: Keep up the eggcellent brain performance. 
Day 21: Doughnut forget to record memories of your alternate lives. 
Day 22: Let's toast to a fourth week of wild memories. 
Day 23: Croissant your daily entry from your to-do list. 
Day 24: Do you remember eggsactly what you dreamt? 
Day 25: Even Madoff can't eggsagerate dreams. (Context)
Day 26: Your dreams wouldn't like to be excluded from this narrative. (Context)
Day 27: Don't make me call Melania's speechwriter. (Context)
Day 28: Are you ready to claim the Bitcoin throne, creator? (Context)
Day 29: Was Morgan Freeman narrating? 
Day 30: Your dreams will be more valuable to your kids than your Pokémon. (Context)
Day 31: Who will be the Phelps of The Audtras? (Context)
Day 32: Your dreams and Harambe can live on in memory. (Context)
Day 33: Invite friends to your daily, mic drop. 
Day 34: Did you see a white and gold dress become bruised? (Context)
Day 35: Did you save Thiel or Gawker
Day 36: What happened after WrkRiot < JobSonic < 1for.one? (Context)
Day 37: Was there a taco truck on every corner?
Day 38: #DreamLivesMatter (Context)
Day 39: Did a LinkedIn email find you in your sleep? (Context)
Day 40: Don't miss the next episode of Pimp My Mind
Day 41: You may have 99 problems, but a dream isn't one of them. (Context)
Day 42: You miss 100% of the dreams you don't save. 
Day 43: Carpe dream. 
Day 44: Hold me closer, tiny dreamer. 
Day 45: What happened in the reply allpocalypse? (Context)
Day 46: Did you rob an AirPod bank? (Context)
Day 47: What did Colin Powell email you? 
Day 48: When will Apple acquihire an auto manufacturer? (Context)
Day 49: Did you come Straight Outta Hamilton? (Context)
Day 50: Do you have 50 Shades of Dreams in you? 
Day 51: Did the iPhone headphone jack escape to your dreams? (Context)
Day 52: Who was your New York Times full-page ad directed to? (Context)
Day 53: Did you get stuck in an infinite, Vine loop? (Context)
Day 54: You won the World Series after how long of a game and drought? (Context)
Day 55: I could feel it dreaming in the air last night, oh lard. (Context)
Day 56: Now you're just some dream that I used to know. (Context)
Day 57: Did Cobblepot train Mr. Steal Yo Penguin too well? (Context)
Day 58: Be the iguana that escapes snake-eaten dreams. (Context)
Day 59: What happens in New California, the Six Californias on steroids? (Context)
Day 60: What market did Bezos eat next? 
Day 61: Who disrupted your favorite, Twitter parody accounts? (Context)
Day 62: What did you learn from finally reading the year's industry newsletters? 
Day 63: What happened during game theory on the first date? (Context)
Day 64: Did you discover a Miracle on 364th/Strawberry Street? (Context)
Day 65: What did you make Forbes 30 Under 30 for and how fast? 
Day 66: Soylent grew from early adopters self-mixing after a delivery waitlist to what next? (Context)
Day 67: Which company pivoted next? (Context)
Day 68: Who disrupted your disruptor? (Context)
Day 69: When did a Forward doctor office finally come to your city? (Context)
Day 70: How did Twitter finally turn a profit? (Context)
Day 71: Like sands through the hourglass, so are the dreams of our lives. (Context)
Day 72: Was it you vs. the dream she told you not to worry about? (Context)
Day 73: All hail The Fresh Prince of Dream Air. (Context)
Day 74: Relationship Status: In an open relationship with dreams.
Day 75: Man Remembers a DreamWhat Happens Next Will Shock You (Context)
Day 76: There are some dreams money can't buy. For everything else, there's Audtra. (Context)
Day 77: And the Academy Award for Best Adapted Dream goes to...
Day 78: Did you hear about Goldilocks and the Three Dreams?
Day 79: I'd like some leftover dreams with a side of bacon, please.
Day 80: Great minds dream alike.
Day 81: Side effects may include dreaming for ~8 hours.
Day 82: Did Cher sing, "Do you believe in life after dreams?" (Context)
Day 83: RIP, dreams.
Day 84: BREAKING NEWS: Another Dream Caught
Day 85: Last night, on Dancing with the Dreams...
Day 86: Do you see the dream as half-full?
Day 87: Does wine pair well with dreams?
Day 88: The dream limit does not exist.
Day 89: Hello, is it the dream you're looking for? (Context)
Day 90: Be the dream you wish to see in the world.
Day 91: Spoiler Alert: The dream dies in the end.
Day 92: Dreams are like an endangered species.
Day 93: It's a beautiful day in this dreamerhood. (Context)
Day 94: Was it a film about two, long-lost dreams meeting at summer camp? (Context | 2)
Day 95: Your Mind Is a Wonderland (Context)
Day 96: Get the inside scoop on friends' minds.
Day 97: Time to play Spin the Dream. (Context)
Day 98: Tune into the Wheel of Dreams. (Context)
Day 99: Who's telling A Tale of Two Dreams? (Context)
Day 100: Genius is 1% dreams and 99% perspiration. (Context)
Day 101: Don't let that dream become a missed connection.
Day 102: Were you like Alice in Wonderland?
Day 103: Was it like Inception?
Day 104: A mind for a mind makes the whole world bright. (Context)
Day 105: What happened at Dreamer's Palace? (Context)
Day 106: All roads lead to dreams. (Context)
Day 107: It was a dream in the streets and real in the sheets. (Context)
Day 108: Hello, resting dream face. (Context)
Day 109: Tax Filing Status: Unmarried, dreaming separately.
Day 110: You've been dreaming for a third of your life, so I'd call it a serious relationship.
Day 111: Winner takes all Audtras.
Day 112: Who's climbing the highest on Mt. Dreamanjaro? (Context)
Day 113: Did you find someone who looks at you the way I look at dreams? (Context)
Day 114: Beauty is in the eye of the dreamer. (Context)
Day 115: It's daylight dreaming time. (Context)
Day 116: Chivalry is opening the door to your mind.
Day 117: It's not indecent exposure if you save it privately.
Day 118: The monster in your closet wants you to sleep and dream more. (Context)
Day 119: Don't cry over spilt dreams, you'll have more nightly.
Day 120: You can't choose your dreams, but you can choose the friends you share with.
Day 121: One day, you can say, "I saved you 365 dreams. I shared with you every day for a year." (Context)
Day 122: Running after your dreams still counts as running in my mind.
Day 123: Did you find the f(calculus)? (Context)
Day 124: Godwin's Law: The longer you debate recording dreams, the probability of all dreams dying approaches one. (Context)
Day 125: Can you beat the Planck constant of dream-memory loss? (Context)
Day 126: Schrödinger says your dream may be dead and alive, unless you don't record it. (Context)
Day 127: Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle: You can be slow or build a time capsule of dreams, but not both. (Context)
Day 128: Paid Death Notice: S/He is survived by a legacy of dreams for future generations.
Day 129: What happened at the meeting under the Chatham House Rule? (Context)
Day 130: Did you find human life origins on Africa? (Context)
Day 131: You can be as fast as Aristarchus, Copernicus, or Galileo. (Context)
Day 132: Did Malthus write An Essay on the Principle of Lab-Grown, Genetically Engineered Food? (Context)
Day 133: Does Darwin's theory survive PGD and germline modification? (Context | 2)
Day 134: How tall was Gilgamesh really? (Context)
Day 135: I think, therefore I dream. (Context)
Day 136: The general will of every sleeping moment is the same as every waking moment. (Context)
Day 137: The more I dream, the more I acquire, the more certain I am that I know nothing. (Context)
Day 138: No matter how short you dream it, there will always be two sides. (Context)
Day 139: Was van Gogh painting Dreamy Night Over the Rhone? (Context)
Day 140: Have you seen Munch's painting, The Dream? (Context)
Day 141: How many derivatives of Vermeer's painting, The Dreamer, did you discover? (Context)
Day 142: Where did you find Bruegel's painting, The (Miniature) Tower of Dreams? (Context)
Day 143: You may never win a PEGOT(A), but you can win an Audtra. (Context)
Day 144: On a scale of Theranos to Juicero, how real was it?